This year has been a year which I’ve learnt so much about myself; we spent so much of the year in isolation which forced me to sit back and reflect on myself. Without all the distractions that life usually brings, I felt like this was the first time in ages that I could dig deep and reflect on myself. I realised this year that I honestly cannot move forward in life until I heal from things that I buried deep inside.

Healing can be the most draining thing ever, it’s messy, scary, it takes time, and it’s hard. But it’s necessary.

It’s such a strange journey; I wish I knew how weird it would be before I embarked on it. Some days I’m so hopeful, happy and I feel like I’m getting there and other days it hurts. It hurts so badly as if I’m still going through all the hurt all over again and feel like I’m never going to heal, that I will always feel like this. Something I’ve learnt is that dealing with all these emotions is a part of healing; you need to feel everything when you’re healing.

I wish I could sit here and write about how the healing process is easy, but it’s not. It’s probably the scariest thing I’ve embarked on, and some days it feels like my attempts at healing are futile. I self destruct more often than I’d like to admit because, in a way, it’s easier to do that then to overcome the thoughts that cripple me. My mind can be my worst enemy at times, and my thoughts can be filled with so much hateful dialogue that does nothing but consumes me and sets me back on my healing journey.

I want to leave you with some tips that have been helping me. I’m no expert; I’m just someone who is trying to heal.

  • Leave the past in the past. For me, that is something I still struggle with, but I’ve come to see how important it is to stop dwelling on the past and just try and move on from it.
  • Be patient. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel like in a month, three months or even six months time you’re not where you ideally want to be because this all takes time. You need to be patient, give yourself time to rest, heal and recover.
  • Embrace everything you feel.
  • Reach out for support, whether that’s professional support from a therapist or if you're not ready to seek help from a therapist confide in people you trust. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and not only that allow people to help & support you.

Every day, I have to remind myself that this is all a process and all I can do is take everything one day at a time because it all takes time. I want to remind you all as you go through this journey of healing, be kind to yourself, practise the art of being compassionate to with yourself. Most importantly be gentle to yourself, you’re healing.

Thanks for reading!

23 from London. Just trying to write more.