“Not good enough”

Hi,

I want to talk about something I sometimes struggle with, and that’s the feeling of not feeling good enough. I go through phases where I feel like I’m not doing good enough, that everything I’m doing is simply crap, every blog post I write is rubbish or that I’m not doing well like my age mates and it’s such a toxic train of thought.

The funny thing is if you were to ask me what exactly “good enough” is I’d probably be stuttering. Social media has made us feel like whatever we’re doing is not good enough, only because others are doing stuff that we’re not doing.

Sometimes I’m hateful to myself, and I have the most negative thoughts running through my head to the point I believe that I’m not good enough for anything and I don’t deserve any happiness, it’s such a toxic headspace to get into and once I’m in it it’s tough to leave it. It’s one of the habits I’m trying to kick to the curb this year.

While I’m looking too deep into the things that are “wrong” with me, I seem to forget all the wonderful things about me that I need to celebrate. We all need to get into the habit of celebrating ourselves. Sometimes we’re too harsh on ourselves and become our own worst enemies. Instead of entertaining our negative thoughts, we need to start feeding ourselves with the positive ones.

One of the most destructive thing, when you’re not feeling good enough, is comparing yourself to others. What others are doing, what they have is going to make you feel like shit. Look the thing is there will always be someone that is in a better position than you, there’s nothing you can do about that, so why get yourself down comparing yourself. Remember that you’re YOU, and they are THEM, everyone is at a different stage in their life so stop comparing yourself to others.

In this era of social media were so prone to measure our achievement and self-worth by other people’s accomplishments. The constant images of people’s success, happiness and wealth are always thrown in our faces via social media, which can make you feel bad about yourself because you don’t have those things. Social media makes it very harder to avoid this whole comparison trap, but I’m here to tell you not everything you see on social media is real. Everyone tends to show their best bits, which usually is only a small amount of their lives. So ask yourself this how you can compare yourself to someone when you only see 10% of their life? Doesn’t make sense init. Everyone has bad days, their problems they are just not highlighting it. So please, whatever you do don’t take what you see on social media for face value.

When you feel like this, I think the best things to do is talk to someone about it. I’ve found when I let those feelings manifest in my mind, and I find it difficult to get out of that headspace which leads me to feel worse about myself. However, lately, whenever I feel like this, I try and talk about it which allows me to share my worries with someone else and makes me feel normal because you’d be surprised at how many people think the same way you’re feeling. It’s so important to open up and talk to people, and I cannot stress this enough.

Let me leave you with some reminders for whenever you’re not feeling good enough.

  1. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. You may not be feeling like that rn, but I promise you’re good enough.
  2. YOU DESERVE LOVE. Remember that no matter how you feel, you deserve to be loved especially from yourself. Love yourself.
  3. TRY YOUR BEST. Just keep going and try your best; that’s all you can do in life. Keep trying; your best is enough.
  4. Above all, remember you’re human; whatever you’re feeling is normal. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have bad days, it’s all a part of life. Just be unapologetically you and continue to celebrate yourself. Don’t ever think you’re not good enough, because you’re enough. Don’t let anyone tell you that either and if anyone makes you feel like you’re not good enough, DROP THEM. They don’t deserve you, and that’s the tea for today.

Thanks for reading!

24 from London.